The thrill of the chaise

Well that was a close one. I came across a chaise longue someone had thrown out, as you do in Chatham. Since I am a dedicated freecycler, my running club, the Medway Rebel Runners, calls us scavengers, I simply couldn't pass it by. There I was sitting on it, thinking would this improve my life style enough to make up for the space it would take up, oblivious to the pressing feeling in my left buttock. I was sitting on my keys. Eventually I decided it was too much effort and reluctantly parted from it. But when I got home I was shocked to find my key had been bent out of shape and would not fit the lock. I was stuck outside wearing a sweaty t shirt and shorts. I had been running. So I set about finding a blunt instrument to hit the key to bend it back into shape. Success came eventually when I found a lump of concrete; but it is surprisingly difficult to straighten a key with concrete. If you see a chaise my advice is run on by. Note: with thanks to Tony Coll who wrote the title.